Raising Dracula!

I guess it's time to come forward and admit to the world that I am a parent of a biter.

If you go to church with me or have been in a recent play group, you already know this. I try not to announce it in fear that my child will be labeled, but I think it's too late. Actions speak louder than words.

As he gets older and more verbal, he bites less and less. Up until recently it had been a while since the last incident and we were beginning to think those days were behind us. BUT I think with all the big changes that we have had over the last few weeks with moving, it has caused him to digress a little and he's had some biting incidences recently.

A while back, Mason was having incident after incident. As a parent of a biter, it's an emotional roller coaster. I've found that it's harder to deal with the extreme criticism of other parents then it is to deal with the actual behavior problem. Parents can be down right mean and rude when it comes to protecting their young. I get it. It's your baby. It's your job to protect them. But come on? Who's the parents and who are the toddlers??? I don't like that he did it any more than you do... especially since it's my kid who is doing the unacceptable behavior. I find that they not only now dislike my little vampire child, but also criticize me and the way I handle the situation after it has happened. UGH! No one wins here.

In Mason's case, he bites when he is frustrated and dealing with a confrontation such as a toy is being taken from him. Or on extreme days (more so before he was 2) when he was tiered, hungry, or doesn't feel that he is getting enough attention, etc.

The more verbal he has become the better it has gotten. I have been able to teach him to "Use his words" or say "HELP!" before the situation escalates. This has become very effective for him and has saved him many times when he was almost going to bite a child. He plays VERY well with older children who can communicate well with him now. He use to have problems biting them as well. We haven't had any older children or cousins bit in a very long long time.

Now it is only happening when he is with a group of other 2 year olds who don't have the vocabulary to talk it out. (Come one people.... THEY'RE TWO for crying out loud!!) He actually can speak very well for a two year old, but I think he realized that the little ones haven't found their own voices yet and he needs to use drastic measures to let them know that he means business. Instead of saying to them "No, I was playing with this toy!" Or "Please give it back to me", he BITES them. An extreme measure to get a point across.

As a mom, I understand that biting hurts. I've also come to learn that this does not mean that I am a bad parent. Don't get me wrong. I understand where everyone is coming from. Their child got hurt and it was my child who did it. No one wants to put their children into a situation that will cause their child pain or fear. I am just like the rest of them. I don't want that for Mason either.

I have been dealing with this for over a period of a year, and I'm sure I am just like any parent who has a problem with their child.. what do we do?... we read. We try to educate our selves and look for ways to prevent it from happening again. We also talk to other parents to see if they have dealt with the situation. That's what I'm doing now. I need your guys help and advise.

The problem is that the more I try to talk to people about this, the more I hear that they've never dealt with the situation themselves, and usually don't have any great advise to give. So I'm opening this subject up to the blogging world in hopes that others are willing to come forward and talk about it. I may not get any where with this (since only 3 or 4 people comment normally on my blog!) But if you are a lurker, please feel free to comment NOW!

Things that have NOT worked for me with Mason is:

Biting him back (Sadly I tried... hasn't helped the situation!)
Telling him NO! (obviously)
Spanking (He starts hitting AND biting!)
Time Out (helps, but still doesn't solve the problem!)

Things that I have tried that are working:

Hot Sauce
Vinegar
Time out
Removing him from the situation (i.e. going home on really bad days!)
And talking him through situations as they occur. (i.e. instead of biting, try saying HELP!) or come and get mommy to help you, etc.

If anything else, I hope this post will help someone to achieve a greater understanding and compassion towards people who like me who are going through struggles and feel a little alone.

For starters, here's a link that has helped me.

Babycenter Link: How can I stop my toddler from Biting??

All in all, I'm hopeful that he wont grow up to be a vampire where I will have to hide him away from the world in hopes that he wont hurt anyone else. But I think the only thing I have really come to understand is that he's 2. He wont be 2 forever and he will eventually grow up and grow out of this phase of life and onto something else. I guess that is why they call it the terrible 2's (and 3's and 4's and 5's!) =)