So if you haven't noticed.. I've been neglecting my blog a little bit more. I wish I was doing better at keeping it updated, but I just feel like I have this time bomb ticking away in the back of my head!
For those who I don't talk to on a frequent basis, I have scheduled my repeat C-section for Monday, June 15th! I CAN NOT believe that's only in a little over 2 WEEKS! (TWO WEEKS!) On one hand I can't wait to meet this little person face to face. On the other hand.. I'm SCARED to DEATH! Mostly because I will have a 3 year old AND a newborn to juggle. The newborn part doesn't scare me nearly as much as the 3 year old part. How in the heck am I going to manage?? (Mom's of 2 or more.. your suggestions on how you learned to do this would be greatly appreciated!)
I've become SO comfortable in my little world of just the 3 of us. Shane, Mason and I have a great routine.. we're able to do things like Disneyland almost every week, and lunch dates with Grandma, and play dates with friends, and preschool, etc. And family date nights Where we do dinner and a movie. I feel guilty that all these things are going to be pulled out from under Mason in one swoop! And we're going to have to start getting into a different routine all over again.. I guess I'm more worried about the transition for Mason than for myself and a newborn. Is this normal!?
I find myself thinking.. I should take him to Disneyland, just the two of us.. for one last time. Or maybe I should take him to that favorite park.. or have a beach play day... and then I find myself thinking.. I wonder if I'm shooting myself in the foot for planning all these fabulous things for us to do together right now.. and it's all going to come to a halt when this cute little girl comes into our world.
I'm also feeling like I'm NOT ready! I don't have this done, or I don't have that done and I'm rushing like crazy to wash clothes, clean the house, organize my bedroom, my closet, Mason's clothes, The office, The kitchen! (I guess this is what you call nesting?!) lol! Okay.. so I'm getting a little neurotic... lol! But it sure feels good to know that the hall linen closet has every single towel and blanket in it's place!
My fellow Mom friends.. please tell me what you have learned as the numbers in your family grows and changes.. Things you wish you would have done with #1 when #2 came, or suggestions to make this transition a little easier for ALL of us!
So far the best suggestion I have heard so far is from a Mom of 11 (that's right eleven) kids.. She told me that the nursing newborn doesn't need 100% of my attention.. and that's the perfect time to have your older child bring you his favorite books and read stories. I LOVED that idea! Best one I've heard yet! So you better believe I've already got the book box set up next to the nursing spot for this very thing and I CAN'T wait!
5 comments:
My situation is definitely not normal. We went from one child to five in three years. Not your typical situation. One thing that has helped me tremendously is schedules. It sounds like a small thing but it will help you keep your sanity. Get the new baby on a good sleeping schedule as well as your 3 year old. Oh, and take time out for yourself once in a while too. Good luck.
Christin
well, i'm no mom, but i was the first child who had to go through what mason will go through.
there will be years and years when you can take mason out by himself on mommy-son dates. i guarantee he'll remember helping with the new baby & being a big brother way more than any beach or disneyland trip. :)
also: let people help you. you have tons of family and friends who would love nothing more than to fold your laundry for you, because you just can't do it today. that's why we HAVE genetic & ward families: to help us!
Some people think moving from one child to two is no big deal, but that from two to three is... I think it's different for each person. For me, moving from one to two was HUGE -- mostly because number 1 was SO so so challenging to parent when she was 2 and 3. I think that makes a big difference. I felt truly overwhelmed -- so I hear you.
The good news is that with time, number one has mellowed -- not entirely, of course, but substantially. And number 2 has gotten big enough so they play well together finally. But, that first year was a big adjustment.
Now I feel like I could take on 10 and I could do it. :)
Things that helped:
1. yes, reading while nursing -- but also instituting "quiet time" for Anna (number one child) during nap times for Truman. Anna stopped napping soon after Truman was born so I needed a way to have it quiet both for me and the baby. She really respected that time and still does. She didn't have to sleep, just go to her room and read or play quietly until nap time was over or until the baby was asleep and I could read with her. It helped in the beginning that I tried to make nap time my special time with Anna to read or do puzzles -- so that she WANTED to have it quiet and get the baby to sleep so we could have our special time together. Now, almost three years later -- she still respects quiet time very very well and it is indispensable!
2. I don't oppose movies to help maintain sanity. I usually have / had Anna watch a movie while I made dinner to keep her occupied and out of trouble so I could get at least THAT important task finished. Sometimes dishes and laundry and cleaning had to wait, but food prep had to happen.
3. Institute a no picking up the baby by yourself rule, but have a special place where they can sit and hold the baby under supervision on a regular basis.
4. I tried to make Anna my helper as much as possible and she rose to the occasion -- help me keep Truman safe! (once he became mobile especially) -- pick up little objects and keep the bathroom door shut. She did her job SO well and felt proud to help me keep the baby safe. She would even scowl at strangers if they said the baby was cute, "Don't look at my baby! He's MY baby!" She took her job rather seriously. :)
5. Play date trades. SO important...offer to take someone's child one day of the week so they have a day off and then they take Mason the next week so that at least every other week you have a couple of hours to either crash or clean or veg. :)
6. Remember that it's the first few months that are the hardest -- those sleep-deprived, exhausted months...then it gets easier as life settles back into a natural rhythm.
7. Remember that so many other people have survived this -- so you can too. I can't even remember how many times I said that to myself. :)
Love to you!
The night before I had Jillian I was in a panic. What had I done? Jackson was never going to have my undivided attention again. How could I do that to him?
Luckily my mom put it all in perspective for me. I wasn't ruining his life, I was giving him the greatest gift- a sibling, a playmate, a friend, and a chance to grow emotionally as a little human being.
It's not easy to transition into "Mommy of two," but it's worth every crazy day. Just remember to take it slow and realize that in time you'll find a groove that works for you.
And remember to call me when you need a little break and we'll have Mason over to play.
My advice is to bring Mase to my house when you need a sanity check! I will gladly babysit anytime you need me!!
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